"Why would the messiah live in Jamaica, Queens?" I wondered.
But then I felt bad. After all, the Buddha and Christ probably didn't
live in such fancy neighborhoods either. I also realized that my doubts
were based on the premise of rationality, the very nature of which
Atmananda had taught me was limited, flawed, and often destructive.
"I suppose Chinmoy *could* be the Cosmic Boatman," I told myself
as part of a compromise.
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I wanted to believe what my brother and Atmananda had been telling me.
I wanted to believe that the Guru installed disciple-specific,
invisible channels through which peace, light, and bliss could,
if the disciple were receptive, inwardly flow. Yet I was not sold
on the theory of reincarnation. Nor was I convinced that Atmananda
was fully accurate when he claimed that Chinmoy was the Cosmic Boatman,
an avatar [incarnation of a Hindu deity], and the most advanced soul
ever to have incarnated anywhere in the entire universe.